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You know, I've really been getting lots of teasin' from my loved ones about the amount that I post. :)

Constant riffs about 12 page posts 6 times a day.

Tongue in Cheek references to taking 4 hours to write details about a 2 hour event, etc. :-P

It doesn't hurt my feelings in the least, but it does kinda play on my "talk too much" insecurities. :) Nothing that really bothers me, but it's just amusing. :)

I've been thinking about this today, after yet another joke from Pesh & Leilia last night about if I was going to write a 6 page post about Saturday's events. (And when I told them I might if I got a chance to sit and detail the things out, but that it might be a week, Pesh next cracked "Oh...so we'll see 12 pages a week from now...gotcha!") All day I've been smiling at their laughter....as well at just the fantastic-ness that has been my weekend spent with good friends and good loves and all the good times. There was enough laughter and yummy goodness to help me survive the dreariness and fog, even!

Anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot latey and I wish I was a writer, I think. I wish that I could be creative about plots and storylines and take people to other places. But I'm hideous at it. Go figure....I can create a story, but I have no idea when to stop writing, how to tie up a plotline, and where the hell is the end? :-D LOL! I'm sure youda never guessed that, right?

Instead, all I can do is try my hardest to transport people to this fantastic event in my life, this time that was important to me. This time that actually does have a beginning, a middle, and an end....even one that comes mutliple pages later. I can pay attention to the little details so that you know exactly what I noticed and was thinking about. How significant the most minute little observation and detail is to me. How each tiny piece of puzzle adds up into one really amazing picture and event in my life. Yet, at some point the details and images will run out and the observations will cease. It might not be for days, but it does get there eventually.

The pleasure for me is in the recalling of each little moment. Reliving the "Yum", in the most gratifying of ways. First I experience it , then I get to experience it AGAIN as I write about it, then I get to re-read it over and over forever and forever. If you wanna read it and compliment me by telling me that you were taken along through the memory, that it created a feeling in your mind/body/soul, then awesome. My goal is to create something that lasts. That at any time in my life I can go back to and relive and remember. Not just through a stirring of my memory, but through an exact "OMG. I forgot about that little detail. That was great!" Or..."Oh, yeah! It's hard to remember/believe that once upon a time I thought/felt that way about....." I write my entries about things with an audience in mind. Obviously not in a thoughtful "What is easiest for you to read and gives you the most information in the most concise way" but in a "What would I want someone to feel/know about this awesome thing that will allow them for one small amount of time to be as lucky as me?" This really really really is helpful to me because then when things fade, or I'm having a bad day, or one day when I have alzheimer's, I can go and remember that I have the most amazing life and the most amazing fun. It's not that nobody else is as lucky, or doesn't have as much fun, but I take pleasure in the fact that I see the world differently. I experience it differently. And I always want to remember HOW differently.

I love to read a post from friends about their perspective on the same event as the one I was at/involved in. What happens between us from their perspective. For the pleasure of seeing the experience from their side and knowing what they observe. It shows what's important to them about different things. It also is fun for me to know the "inside scoop" of people's brains and when someone is writing about something that I observed as well, it shows me exactly how I do experience things differently.

That's why it's so important to me to document things. Because it's like a time capsule. I can see how things have changed in a time period. And my time capsule will tell me more clearly than anybody else's time capsule. I mean...come on! You need to know all sorts of things to have a completely fulfilling memory! I guess that's my point of this journal.......I write for an audience that knows nothing about what happened, in an attempt for someone to be able to share in my fun....but I really only write for me so that my time capsule is like a time machine rather than just a boring pile of junk in a can. I could care less if people think my can is overfull of stuff....I like that it has substance and meaning to me and that I can relive my life second by second sometimes.....

Of course, there is one really really amusing thought that I think about all the time.....someday I'll be gone from this earth and this time capsule could be really really really really disturbing for some of those who might learn more about me than they ever wanted to know. :-D

So...I think this is my new "friends only" post, so that nobody can ever say that they were not warned that this journal is a lot of detailed, wordy blather and if you're looking for a cliffnote's version of anything, this is never where you're going to find it. If you prefer your friend's list to be clean and organized and short....keep it movin' people, because there's TOO much to see here!

Read at your discretion, or don't. It never bothers me! I'm going to write anyway! :-D

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Darkersunshine
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